it's been a long while since i've been here... i blame it on the compatibility between the mac and nutang... and it sucks... i don't know why i can't go to this site when it's perfectly fine with other sites in the world wide web. sigh i guess it's one of those things i will never understand.

a lot has happened since i last wrote here... you know... drugs, drinking, and running away... the usual things..

haha

but the funny thing is that there's no sex. haha that's sad.

i am now 20 years old... ew i'm no longer a teen haha... i'm old but not at the same time... being 19 and 20 is such a tease.. you're old enough but not at the same time.. stupid laws out there.. i'm old enough to enlist and die for our country yet i can't drink... and damn soldiers needs to drink.. >.<

i don't know i felt like updating you all with my life right now. so here i am.. hahaha

you can always find me at myspace though...

search for Agent Racket [af] or my email... ukn_id@yahoo.com

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my new mac does everything i need and more except let me go on Nutang... fuck. hahaha i miss nutang.

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i meant to go to godtower.com

lol... it's a puzzle game that's pretty addicting and is really tricky... hahaha

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the last month and a half has been one emotional car ride... gone to two funerals, setting up new goals, and am pretty much broke... there have been a lot of good times but also... really bad...

i'm really hoping that things get better sooner rather than later... I really don't want to end 2008 on a bad note...

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Actually my entire week has been hectic. School started up again which means that I'm once again trying to improve myself... But I think I've already touched on that in my last blog. Or so I really think I did...
Anyways... After working and going to school straight for the past three days [Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday] on Thursday I finally was able to go out and release some stress. =] I went to a concert at the Epicentre in Mira Mesa here in San Diego. I took my cousins Shaneen [shashab00 is her account name here on nutang] her sister stephanie and Shaneen's guy friend Norman. We went to see The Material. The Material was Shaneen's first show ever =] and it's cool because I've become friends with the band. I was right in front of the stage and I was singing and everything dancing and whatnot. And colleen [the singer] would grab my hand and everything... and Roi [the guitarist] would give my high fives and Matt [ the new bassist] would high five me.... Jon [the guitarist lead] talked to me earlier... and then noah.. well hehehe he's noah. and like 2 twice while i was singing colleen would put the mic up to my face and I would hear myself coming from the speakers. HAHA wow... haha hearing myself magnified that much scares the crap out of me.... Either way it was cool. got to talk to all of them after their set and everything. introduced my cousins and Norman. I just felt really good and everything... =]

i don't know...

friday I went with camille to take pictures at certain places that are signifigant to her and her gf... lol it was fun until it started getting dark... I don't know.. I wasn't feeling it anymore... I got annoyed and I started getting tired. I think we all were feeling like that.. I don't know I know that camille was feeling like that because she was a bit frustrated with her gf about going out to party up in Berkeley... She's been partying it up like nothing... going to at least 2 or more parties every night... >.< it's crazy... I wouldn't be able to do that... I like my alone time... hahaha Well yea.. I won't dwell on that for long because.. I don't know... i don't want to talk about them.. lol it's like ehh... I think that feeling of frustration spread to me and danny because we weren't laughing as much anymore.

hmm...

this morning... while I was getting ready I found out that my aunt was put on life support... She is mentally ill and is 24 hour care.... So she doesn't live with us because we really never really are home.. Recently she had surgery done on her mouth because her gums became infected. you see she doesn't eat solid food anymore.. she stop using her mouth and she doesn't swallow... so she had to get her bottom teeth removed to try to prevent the infection to spread anywhere else.. that was on wednesday.
this morning.. they called my mom and said that she was rushed to the ER because she stopped breathing. I barely finished showering when this was going on. So my mom called my uncle and told him to go to the hospital to see what's going on and everything... because my mom just got home from a 16 hour shift. from the phone call I just knew that she stopped breathing and that she was taken to the hospital...
After work and everything... There was a prayer at my cousin's house for my Uncle who just passed away... So we were there and everything. Around 8 my parents, grandma, some aunties, my brother, my cousins, uncle, my grandpa on my mom's side, and I went to the hospital. This is where I found out what was going on... Specifically.
Found out that her Kidney stopped working... and her body was absorbing all the toxins... and she began getting sick and infected. Also I forgot to mention that she can't speak.. she stopped talking a few years ago. so she didn't complain about any pain or anything. So she's on life support and she's not doing very well... She has a steady and stong heart rate but she has no blood pressure whatsoever... and machines are breathing for her... it's kind of scary.
and we just had a funeral... I have a bad feeling that there's going to be another one very soon..

I haven't really seen her in a long time until today... I feel a little bad about it... But now i can't do anything about it.

i don't know... it's not a good weekend for me..

listening to comfort music...

Tsunami Bomb

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school is back in full swing now.. i'm still getting used to waking up at 6 in the morning to be at school by 7 just for parking then starting class at 8.... then having great wonderful gaps in between classes... yay.
anyways...
I just got out of an english class that I tried to crash. and failed. lol the person ahead of me got the last seat in the class... and it SUCKS! lol... the students in the class were kind of immature... laughing and saying things.. but it's a 110 [Grossmont College] English class. I even made a new friend in the class too! I'm sad. she was cool. She's a singer of a SKA band here in San Diego and their first show is on friday in Temecula. She didn't tell me where because it's their first show and she and the band don't want to be embarassed in front of people they know.. which of course is understandable. But i have confidence in her and I think they'll do okay for their first show. but damn. i may never get to see her again... lol... maybe i'll find her on myspace and tell her what happened and blah blah blah and still be friends. she's really cool.
so now I'm going to have to crash another english class on thursday that starts at the same time. but this time i don't know where the classroom is. room 1something. ehh... with Professor Baker.

so now i'm in the library using one of their free computers because I got lucky and found one before someone else can take it.
Speaking of library computers... Yesterday I ran into my friend Jayd from my history class from fall of 2007. I was finally able to give her her birthday presents from December... lol yes it's been 9 months. and yes it meant a lot from me and to her. Camille also had a present for her. I gave her a wallet. It's cute and reminded me of her because she's so blunt. lol and Camille got her a rainbow lanyard because when we hung out that one time last November she said that she wanted to be more gay... lol so camille took the liberty and bought a rainbow laanyard for her. But I wasn't able to give it to her on her birthday due to the fact that she got drunk and passed out. and I didn't know where she was... I went to her house but i don't know. I don't really remember... other than that camille and I drove up to lakeside [which is about 40 minutes from my house] waited in the parking lot of a pizza joint while it was drizzling... and i remember going to walmart for water. lol oh what fun of a night that was. lol
but either way now she has them and we're friends again. she said she was having some problems and whatnot.... so she's gotten them straightened out and everything and her phone is turned back on. so yay. She's a great person and i would always like her to be a part of my life. she's just cool like that.

right now i'm thinking about heading upstairs and sleeping for a while... from my last entry... lol... you can tell that i was exhausted. that's because I didn't get home until 12:30 last night.. and got to bed at 1:30 and woke up at 6. ew. and i'm going to be doing it again tonight and thursday.. sigh... and then no more swing shift for me at work. lol... but now i work weekend mornings.. and i don't really like weekend mornings... they're annoying.

ehh i'm tired.

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i am exhausted.

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I went to the apple store with my dad today.. and we went in and talked to the people and my dad found out that he's going to have to open a credit account to do it. and that they only accept people who has good credit... so i can't open an account because I don't have any credit whatsoever... which sucks. :: sigh :: so i guess i'm going to be paying my dad to pay off my computer in the future. that's not too bad.

My dad is also thinking about getting my brother one too. I don't know what my brother would say... since he's not really a computer person.. well he is but he doesn't do much other than go online chat and play games and do stuff with music.... okay never mind I see him using the macbook a lot. hehe Garage Band is something my brother would use a lot... lol

I guess I'm going to have to wait until next week. I'm still excited.

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